This can create an entirely different set of complications. Maybe she tried to be your best friend when all you really wanted was a mom who set boundaries, enforced limits, and told you to be careful around “bad boys” instead of begging for details of your sex life. This sometimes contributes to unhealthy relationship patterns or mental health symptoms, including depression and anxiety.Īn enmeshed relationship, or one that lacked normal parent-child boundaries, can cause problems, too. If your mother spent a lot of time pinpointing your flaws or critiquing your appearance, you might have a lot of shame and insecurity as an adult. Yes, but they probably won’t look the same.Īnyone can experience distress as a result of a painful or estranged maternal relationship, but gender can affect how these issues show up.ĭaughters of unkind or overly judgmental mothers might grow up with a poorly developed sense of self-worth. Growing up unable to meet your own needs and expecting partners to support you can lead to some pretty unhealthy dependence. Perhaps, far from neglecting you, your mother smothered you with well-intentioned guidance and refused to let you make your own choices. There’s also, of course, too much of a good thing. Sometimes, this can show up as clinginess or people-pleasing. The need for their affection might leave you with the urge to do everything possible to keep them happy so they don’t leave, too.
You might try to seek this missed love from other mother figures or romantic partners. Her absence can create feelings of abandonment or rejection, no matter her reasons or lack of control over the situation. She might have even made the choice to leave you with your other parent because she thought it would give you the best possible life. Maybe your mom died or couldn’t care for you properly because she had physical or mental health issues and lacked support. It’s easy to see how people with unloving or emotionally unavailable mothers might carry lingering scars as a result of harsh or distant treatment. When this doesn’t happen, you experience some disillusionment that leads you to shove them off the pedestal, so to speak. When relationships do play out like this, he goes on to say, you might end up idealizing your partner. Patrick Cheatham, a psychologist in Portland, Oregon, explains that people who have a strained or toxic maternal relationship often expect romantic partners to fulfill needs their mother could not.
difficulty spending time with or discussing their mother.a need for maternal guidance when making decisions.“cold feet” when it comes to relationship commitment.a strong need for affection and approval or difficulty showing affection or rapid shifts between the two.trust issues or difficulty showing vulnerability.an expectation that romantic partners will provide more than a fair share of household labor or emotional support.People usually apply the term “mommy issues” to men who display some of the following traits and behaviors: After all, you can control your behavior now. Still, it’s worth making the effort to address any relationship difficulties you experience. You had no control over the way she chose to parent, so you aren’t to blame for any outcomes of a toxic maternal relationship. These doting, loving parenting styles may not seem so negative, but they can also have some serious effects. Or perhaps she tried to be your best friend and confidant, not your mother. Maybe she did all the household chores and looked the other way when you made mistakes. So-called mommy issues can also result from overprotective or overly permissive mother-child dynamics. If she abused you, manipulated you, or failed to provide essential emotional support, the psychological aftereffects can persist into your adult life. Many experts would argue that your mother is the most important figure of your early childhood. People often call these difficulties “mommy issues.” While the term itself may sound a little cringeworthy, it does describe some very real distress. Do you have a strained or complicated relationship with your mother? Maybe difficulties from childhood carried over into your adult relationships, setting the stage for complications with romantic partners or your own children.
0 kommentar(er)
